I feel so irritated some days. You can show up and give all ur effort but it doesnt mean it will turn out. I fucken hate so much when I can follow through but then something that I cant control ruins everything. I fucken hate how I cant live my life without something getting in the way. I fucken hate how much school has taken my time. I hate the pos ex that made it all about him at the cost of everyone else. Still doing what I was doing then, school, doing the same fucken thing, cant live my life how I want b/c oh I have to study. I have to put everything else on hold, cant do this, cant do that b/c..school. I will never stop hating my ex. How much I envision him dying in so many ways. The time, the money, the memories that I had to sacrifice.