I hate that I'm surrounded by the wrong people. Because I know for a fact that the right people are across the world. I do this with every crush. EVERY crush. It's either that I stop, or I keep on waiting for "that person" to come. Whenever I get close with them, I push them away. Because I'm in such denial, I've never had any confidence. It always ends up in "He'd never like someone like me. Maybe I'm delusional" and I ignore them forever. The first time, I will forever regret. I should've told him yes when he asked if we were friends. Now, he pretends like I don't even exist. Not even a glance. Then, last week, ugh I regret everything. I should've believed myself when I noticed how often he'd stare at me, or "coincidentally" be everywhere I go. But whenever I caught him looking at me, I looked the other way. Now I fear he won't look at me ever again. I really suck, I wish I got a second chance. I wish I'd stop that habit. I wish I could actually form a relationship.