it feels like life is just another second passing by without any progress. lately I've been trying to follow my dreams, my dreams being running away and becoming a serial killer or just being an anarchist. ive been trying to desensitize myself by sneaking out at night but every time I even think about it I just try to bury it under my other dreams, like cosplaying or something cringe. and the only thing that motivates me is some fictional characters written by an edgy 12 yr old boy in 2012. (those characters being creepypasta characters) and I love it, but I cant wallow in it forever because it stupid, and I'll never really achieve my dreams like that. "I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar