ive always been alienated. my entire life. something about me is different or undesirable, and it's like everyone notices it without telling me. it's obvious from the way im 19 and have never dated, kissed, or been seeked romantically. ive been asked out, sure, but they only like that im kind and mirror their own personality so they can tolerate me more. i go mute for hours and none of my friends or family notice. they could care less about me. i know my friend group has group chats without me. i know they secretly hate me, or at least tolerate me at the minimum. i desperately ask for them to do something for me? "oh, sorry, i forgot". one of my close family members died and they KNEW i struggled and they forget it ever happened. in general, this is the most ive ever struggled mentally and nobody ever looks twice. ive been depressed for years. i have no support system. if i try to vent they make it about themselves, even when im always there for them. what did I do to deserve this?