i dont like that im 15, nothing i say is validated due to my age. i self harm, cut, and have burnt myself when i was younger, its been 3 years now, a process of healthy and unhealthy. a process of getting into stupid relationships with boys, as a muslim that isnt even supposed to date. leaving all of them, breaking their hearts and being painted as a whore. through it all im questioning my sexuality. i may be pansexual. but, i sometimes feel like i cant express that. not only am i brown, but im also a muslim, i cant dissapoint my culture with just being free about who i love. im too young for it all, but doesnt it weigh heavy for every individual, from a toddler crying over a lollipop to an elderly person who regrets their long life. i feel trapped, i have nothing against the religion i follow, its my choice. but i feel trapped within the judgements of society. it suffocates me, it disgraces me that i cant be comfortable around men. i am a girl whos aware of each man walking by.