I hate how in most relationships I've been in, I've been used for my body. I have been taken for granted so many times – not just my body but my personality too. I'm a people pleaser. I jeopardise my own progress for the sake of others' gratification. I wish I could escape all this, escape the social circle where relationship means lustful behaviours. I just yearn for something I've never even experienced; it's so painful. When I think I finally have what I want, it backfires and suddenly I'm back at square one. I blame social media, porn, and unrealistic expectations for people to achieve. If only social media never grew to the extent it has today – maybe I'd finally get an 'I love you' that I truly feel, one that feels genuine and not fuelled by lustful desires. I'm tired, and I am sick of it. I'm craving a love that may not even exist anymore, and I feel unloveable for it.