why is it so hard to be happy? ive changed my mindset, my meds, my doctors, my friends. Yet, I'm still too scared to leave the house, everytime uni goes on a break i can never take initiative to leave the house or even my dorm room, the anxiety is just too overwhelming and will not leave me the fuck alone. Then I get depressed because I've been in my room too much, its a vicious fucking cycle. It's easy to say take deep breaths, no one cares but I have to do it every fucking day. I'm constantly looking for answers and reasons to justify risking leaving the house, to prove my brain wrong but my sick mind is like a brick wall. I can't trust people, I hate people. Every second I see someone my body instinctively tenses up and I feel I have to put on a show, a pleasant face. All i think about when I'm around strangers is what they think of me, cause what if they hate me so much they hurt me? I'm scared if they hurt me it'll be the final straw. The moment that makes me hurt myself or others