My ex raped me, beat me, and was emotionally abusive. I wanted to be friends after we broke up. Instead, I called the police because I was hurt. I didn't want to get a protective order against her, I didn't want to file a lawsuit, I don't want her to go to jail. I keep digging this legal hole deeper and deeper because I don't know how to make things better. I keep filing because I want to see her. I love her so much despite what she did to me. A part of me is doing it because I know the abuse will happen and again and I just want her to be nice like she used to be.
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