my ex showed me this website because i write in my notes a lot. not sure if he still uses it though. its been 2 years, & for the most part i'm over him. it's just that when i think about relationships, venting, letters, blahblahblah, my mind goes straight to him. i don't miss him anymore, i don't feel the desire to be with him anymore, i can't even say i miss presence, so why is my mind still drawn to him in the most specific ways that i can't really pinpoint? it's so weirddd. we became friends again last year. he called, i answered, we spoke for hours yet nothing felt the same, nor any good tbh. i've never spoken to him since then. i was able to let go of missing our friendship, because at that point, thats all i had left to offer, but it didn't feel right at all. i don't have anything against him, nor with him, AND he isnt even the last guy ive been with, so wth is this? am i traumatized? LMFAO & trust, i know i'm not just sitting here "lying to some part of myself".