People should call out my shitty behavior. If someone tolerates me being around when all I do is drag others down for attention and my own ego, then that's indicative of them having other issues I've been insensitive toward. God, I hate my own ignorance. I hate how stupid and pretentious I am. I feel like I need people guiding me through every step, constantly slapping my wrist and conditioning me. I doubt I'll ever reach a high level at anything when I seem to fake myself first. It's so cringe to call them "my advisors", but I'd be nothing if it weren't for how dependent I am on other people. I'd be starving on the street because I can't look after myself like other people. I am lazy, laziness is pathological. Lazy, shitty, toxic person who drives friends and people who want to help away then tries to cope with a false aesthetic or by taking it out on those people who do care.