started school just today, already rethinking my entire identity and sexuality, im like 90% sure im gay but i dont want to be "different" or anything, i just want to blend in. anyone i try to talk to says im being selfish or a loser. most of my friends are stereotypical homophobic sports jocks or their culture doesnt allow it so i dont know what im gonna say to them, dont want them to think im a (you know what) or whatever. i also have a girlfriend but idfk what im supposed to say to her? i dont want to pull a freddie mercury and cheat on her just because i like dudes,but i dont have the fucking spine to talk to her about it. i dont want to lead her on either though. being a teenage boy fucking sucks oh my god