I never worked hard enough before to leave this stupor, but I'm left with resentment that builds and drains me in a disassociated state from my constant rejection by others. I was never taught by them, I was only ridiculed for being so ridiculous and dismissed back into my forever pit to graze with filthy boars. I wanted to be seen as having my mind whole, I never grasped the fundamental details. I never read any books. I was always so fucking stupid. You stay in your lane to avoid being treated as some parasite. You stay in your lane and never utter a word that might have them come for you, laugh at you, degrade you for being so fake when they actually know and they have their ears pressed against the wall to soak in more laughter. It's pathetic. It's pathetic that I'm even concerned with what they think when their opinions change and rot in the wind. I don't care, I still hate them and feel that I can never forgive them for my mistakes. I hate their happiness.