I just relapsed because I’m so stressed and school just started. I’m in sophomore year and taking my first ap class, and after my first and only period so far, we have a hw packet and this thick ass textbook. I’m so scared I’m gonna fall behind and lose all motivation. I feel like I don’t deserve to be in an AP. I don’t wanna grow up, everything seems so real and I hate it. High school is kicking my ass. I feel horrible because I saw someone with HEALED scars that are very raised which made me go deeper because I feel like mine are invalid because I don’t have any but one keloid, and it’s small. Same person who’s cried over being ugly because of their scars btw. And then being a trans dude (I know, I’m just checking all the fucking woke boxes) dysphoria has been horrible. Especially since I can’t come out for safety reasons and I have a really big chest, like for anyone. Lowkey atp just kms