deadass the only reason i haven’t killed myself is bc of my mom. i sometimes think about what would happen if i did and i think she might kill herself too. i’ve tried a few times, no one knows that tho. but i know they didn’t work bc i was too scared too. and also acetaminophen probably can’t kill u with just like 30 pills or smth idk. i dont think my friends would miss me bc i like never hang out with them. at some point i think they just stopped asking if i wanna go out bc i see posts of them out and i haven’t gotten invitations. i can’t help but feel left out tho even if i know i’ll just refuse anyway. and i feel like when i’m at home i literally do nothing except deadass touch myself like a fucking loser. i actually hate myself and i hate that i’m fat and horny and lowkey a creep all the time bc that’s like losing three times in a row. that was embarrassing to write but that’s okay bc maybe this will make me feel better.