I seriously want to kill myself for the first time in years, life just hasn't been fair. I'm fifteen so I try to tell myself things would get better obviously, but I compare myself to others often. I compare how I look, my life, my GPA and general academic capabilities, and the worst part is that I'm completely isolated as well. I don't have anyone to talk to and I hate it. Moreover, my parent are such a significant reason for everything. The most major issue is the fact they hardly let me go out, they've had me in online school since Covid, I've talked to them regarding this multiple times but I'm always shut down. I'm not poor, maybe lower middle class, I hate it either way. Just a couple days ago I found a roach crawling under my bed, there's been flies on my food that I had to throw out. There's rust on my wall, mold covering my window and in my shower. Most of my clothes comes from my younger cousin. I hate myself, my family, my home, and I can't get away from it.