I hate depression. it makes me feel lazy and it just made me stopped doing my hobbies. My guitar and drums are basically just decorations now, my drawings were rendered nice, good anatomy, now they all just suck, im always angry now. I have no coping mechanism, coping with fictional sucks because it’s not effective and most of the people using it are either just evil stupid yumeshippers or beginner pedophiles, Shing got me embarrassed to the point i stopped all together, breathing in and out makes me feel overwhelmed, there’s nothing. The only way i can cope is being with my friends and forgetting everything but they will all move and one basically ignores me for my evil ass racist ex to be friends and hangout with her even though i have been there with her for years. Racial harassment got very bad it’s the only thing i talk about at that point. If i was borned white and privileged i would be doing better, have a good life, had a lot of stuff by now, or grow up to be a crack baby.