I'm tired, which is crazy because I don't have school, or a job, or anything going on really, but I'm so tired. The people around me say I'm wasting my time and my life, what am I supposed to say to that? I know I'm a mess, I know they're tired of me too, I'm tired of myself. I don't want to be like this too, but most days even three hours of having to face people is too much for me. I know something in me is broken, has been for a long time. I can't afford therapy. Sometimes I just think about where it all started getting so messed up, and I can't even find where it all began. I don't even think I'm living anymore sometimes. I wanted to die at 16, I knew I needed help, but never got it. So here I am still wanting to die, and still holding on so that I don't inflict that pain on the people who still care about me. I know I'm hurting them though, every time they see the current me, they hurt. so the question becomes, do I just tear the bandage off, how long can I keep going?