Hey so idk if ppl can read this. ive been struggling w an ed. im currently 13, 161 cm and 45kg. in 7th grade and im the same weight since 5th. im terrified of gaining weight as im always known as skinny i eat 1 maybe 2 meals and work out everyday to keep my image up.i also think about k1lling myself a lot i really dont know what to do. ive tried to "not care" abt my weight but i do i fucking do. i tried going into a normal diet but i cant i feel sick and guilty after eating and i feel like im gonna vomit if i think abt food. its been heard and ive had this since 11 yr old. ive always judged myself even as a 6 yr old. and that was abt my drawing not being good enough so id throw them away. i cant stop ive tried, theres literally nothing i can do