I feel sick as in the feeling of watching others live life while you proceed to waste away in your bedroom. Young and everyone my age is still going to college. Wanting something to do with life. And doing things that make them happy and full. Seeing people post online or talk online about their college life thru Instagram. Makes me sick. It feels like I'm falling myself. And I feel miserable. I want to distract myself or feel good about myself. But I can't. I can't do anything. No job. Nothing. Makes me think I'm one of those people that will waste away but continue to live. Its like I shouldn't or don't deserve to. It wouldn't make a difference if I did die. I'm not doing anything important. I'm hardly important to anyone's life. But everyone is important to mine. And they don't realize it. I feel like people text me but would never go above and beyond for me. I wish I had a good exhilarating life. With people and events. Like everyone else. I'm too scared to tho. So I deserve this