i was talking shit about both my friends and then acting like i was on both of their sides because i was in a manic episode and they both have been always weird or rude to me so it felt good talking shit, but i also wanted to be friends with them if that makes sense? i dont know what i was thinking but now they found out and are ganging up on me and i have no idea what to do. and they also told all our other friends so now theyre ignoring me. i understand what i did was horrible but i couldnt control it before i realized i was in too deep. im sorry, im a horrible person. and i want to kms. and im not trying to play the vitcim ive actually wanted to kms because of many other reasons but also them, they shit talk my past trauma. and they make fun of me when im actually sad and crying.