i feel fucking stupid not because i am incapable but because i always get back to the same thing i swore wouldn't do, and even now i have two tests tomorrow i should study for but i am blasting music through my earphones, i feel like a stupid stupid shit, i feel like i am unworthy of the things i have but i still cover it up bcus ppl are not obliged to listen to it and i also have lab report to write and i was acting like i was mad on friday bcus i was not able to finish it but i am just startin to write it now and i feel so fake and i have to prepare a project idea for tmr but my teammate did it and i didn't even know it was for tmr, but she did and she did it, and i know i am doing this willingly but it feels like i am also tied, well also feels lik i tied myself, i fake authenticity, and run after anything i (i rlly am not sure if it's me or the notices i took from situations, voicing themselves) deem niche which i feel like is so boring and rlly scary gfor me