i want to get married and start a family, i really do, but what if my children experience the same things i am experiencing rn. what if they have the same thoughts as me, what if they wake up every morning wondering why they were born in the first place, what if they spend every day wishing they were gone, wondering if they'll ever be good enough, wanting to kill themselves. i know that i can "break the generational curse" but what if i cant? what if i do to my children what my parents did to me? not knowing that their child is trying her best not to make a sound as she cries her heart out, that her child is thinking of killing herself, that her child is a few events away from breaking down. the sad part is, i tell my mom that im tired and drained from school and from everything in general. but instead of comfort, i receive a shrug from her. it's just sad. i wish i wasnt born in the first place. thats the phrase keeping me from having children "i wish i wasnt born in the first place"