sorry if this is super unorganized i have adhd but my dad cheated and was never really in my life and i always bashed him because thats why my mom showed me but as i grew up i learned my mom is just as bad and ive been suffering since i was like 5 ive done things that children shouldve do as a coping mechanism but its so bad and i have such bad anxiety because of my mom and its eating at me everyday. i dont want to die but i want this endless suffering to end. i want to wake up one day and all my trauma is gone and she starts acting like a loving mom i can trust. im only 14 and i have wanted to kms more times than i can count and i dont have anyone to turn to also i feel like a burden when i vent to my friends so i get high to distract myself but im so anxious because of my mom that the weed just makes my anxiety worse. my mom is making my life a living hell.