i want to kill myself and I also don't??.. like I want to die yet I still want to live. i feel like I have so much to live for and nothing at the same time. my feelings contradict themselves for some reason. I feel one thing but also feel the opposite of it it's so WEIRD like I want to run away from home, but I still want to stay. i want to die but I want to live. please tell me someone else feels this way. anyways I've been waking up too late to have breakfast or lunch so I just eat dinner and maybe a snack I guess which isn't that bad this is kind of all over the place I'm just gonna stop talking here