I don’t think I have enough energy to go back to school because I keep having moments of school days where I was close next to my family physcially and keep ruminating if I sa’d them it’s a very very strong feeling I feel sick to my stomach and I have a notebook dedicated to theese “events” I’m friends with most of theese people in them but I just can’t help to think I did, I could like start crying in my room over it then 30 minutes later walking to a scenario in my head with music and it’s affecting me I hate it so bad I even have a recall where I can’t tell if it’s distorted or not at 9-10 years old and did weird stuff to my brother and mom on the bed and have a obsession with juvie now and handcuffs idk anyone else having this? I don’t think it’s ocd either because it’s actual snippets and now I’m convinced I’m convincing myself that nothing happened maybe I blocked it out im looking for moral reassurance but I can’t even reassure myself