Tired of daily life. I get it, society has built its way and sometimes it’s just life, but I’m sick and tired of it. I feel like absolute trash, seeing others exceed so far, getting gifts, sponsors, being able to travel far. Wanted to put myself out there on streaming platform. Seeing my face, hearing my own voice, even i can't stand the thought of putting myself out there. I’m here with two retail, low-paying jobs and I can’t even keep my head afloat. I wanted to do a specific role for a convention that I volunteered for about three years. One time I ask for something different and get rejected instantly. I get it—I’ve got selfish demands that I barely ask for, but the one time I feel brave enough to reach out and ask, I get rejected. Constant rejections for better-paying jobs and such. Haven’t received anything nice, and I feel too trashy to buy myself anything nice because the moment I buy something for myself, I regret it. I don't want to die but I don't really want to live either.