I hate being gay. I am not religious. It starts to feel wrong when I start to act a certain way in real life, that I can normally get away with on the internet. For example, all my online friends think I'm a boy and I can just be myself. But in real life when I want to act the same way, it's socially unacceptable. I know I like super masculine clothes, but when I even think about wearing them to work or out in public, I feel a deep sense of shame and wrongness. I like the idea of being with a woman, but if I went on a real date, it would instantly feel wrong to actually act on it, no matter how pretty she is or how much fun we're having. I don't know why some people are seemingly naturally gay, but I believe it is wrong or at least suboptimal for the human race, even if you are not actively experiencing moral dilemma. If only I could've just been a boy none of this would've happened. Oh well.