I can’t focus anymore. I can’t smile genuinely, I can’t laugh, I can’t have a good time anymore. I can’t shake this fear of abandonment and loneliness. I can’t imagine what she thinks right now, unless it’s something negative about me. I can’t sleep. I’m not really able to eat. I’m beginning to suffocate in my thoughts and feelings, unable to breathe anymore. I hyperventilate and pace around aimlessly. 5 minutes feel like 5 hours. It’s all stressful. I can’t figure out the girl, the friends, the school. It’s so overwhelming. The panic attacks are more often. The anxiety more strong each time. I can only run on and on, away from my problems, stomping the ground so hard because I’m so angry at the world. I run and tell myself that maybe if I just ran harder, longer, further I’ll be better. She’ll see me better. I slap my face with a force so hard to knock sense into myself. She says I love you dryly. She says she needs space, but it feels as if it’s all over. I hate myself.