It's currently 1:24AM and I can't fall asleep because after a solid, good 3 months, it feels as though I'm falling back into the depressive spiral I worked so hard to get myself out of. My anxious spirals are back and everything is starting to feel as though it's a lot more work than it actually is. I just wish there was someone good and safe that I could reach out to. Even though part of me feels like I have people like that, the other part is too scared to tell the truth. I tell everyone I'm doing fine and I post so much good stuff about my life and accomplishments on social media, but I still feel like shit. I wish I knew what was going on with me mentally. I feel crazy. I feel as though I don't ever want a relationship with anyone again because I'm scared we'll hurt each other very badly. I'm so scared right now and I just wish someone would be here for me. I wish someone would check in on me despite everything. I don't want to fall back into the darkness again.