My best friend likes my crush. In this singular fucking day I saw the way he looked at her, the way he went out of his fucking way to talk to her, he looks at her the way I wish he would look at me. I’ve had my heart broken so often. I don’t know why it hurts so much fucking more now, I should be used to this. I want to brutally rip out my own heart, to stop me from loving anyone, or at least change what ever I can to be more appealing to him. I fucking love that boy. He makes me feel like I’m important and now someone who can be harassed. I went home and stared at my ceiling for two fucking hours. God I hate this. I hate myself. I hate that he will probably never love me back. I hate that I’m so fucking selfish that I can’t even be happy for my best friend, I just love him so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Fuck, I’m only in highschool. I just want him