I hate having ocd, everything makes me think i'm a a disgusting pervert and a cruel person. Always themes of morality. I'm so tired, i just want to be a good person but i'm constantly terrified that i come off wrong, everything i say and everything i don't say- i worry that people think i'm a sick person. I blame catholism and being sexually assaulted for making me think like that. I worry that i'll be perceived like the kind of people who've hurt me. I want to be be a good man more than anything else in the world. I want to be a good person who makes people feel safe. I got rid of some ocd rituals but some i can't stop. Meds and therapy don't help me. Mental health system in every country is terrible, so mine is included. Sex scares me so much even though i crave it, i'm both scared of being hurt but also scared of hurting someone else by mistake. I can't joke or talk about it without feeling sick afterwards, though it feels less scary each time i do