I believed for most of my life that I was inherently selfish and cruel, even from back when I was in elementary school. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts (passive, I do not plan to do anything to myself, I never will) for a decade now, and it's become heavily upsetting. I feel no desire to better myself, considering I've lived most of my life like this so I don't know if there would be really any way to reverse it, but I'm just worried. I don't want it to get worse. My family just revealed that they've known for quite some time, and they still aren't doing anything about it. I can't take the action to get help myself because of the situation I am in right now (insurance, financial, driving, all that). I'm just not sure where to continue, but I know I can't stay in one place for the rest of my life. I'm scared.