i genuinely do not understand how people function in rural areas. i'm 17, finished online school early, and do not have money for college, nor do I want to go. there's no job opportunities, i'm not old enough to work anyways, i don't have a car, and i'm left with fuck all to do except sit in my room and play video games by myself. online friends are hard to make, and when i do make them, i can't hold a conversation, since i've been in homeschooling all my life, and have no contact with anyone except my grandmother. it's so much of a problem that i, multiple times, have been forced out of online spaces for being annoying. which, i cannot fault them for. it just feels shitty. i have no intent to end myself off, but with how the world is going, it's seeming like i'll never get enough of a foothold to break free from my situation. my computer is all I know, and all I have, and it's saddening to see how toxic it's become for my mental state. but if i leave, i have nothing left.