I once opened up to a social worker about my self-esteem issues. She said something simplistic (because what the hell could you say) along the lines of "You have a very big brain and a very big imagination". Ever since that day, my dad has used it sarcastically and disparagingly to mock me. There's nothing I can do about it. I've confronted him multiple times, I've involved distant relatives (where I tried to run away from home, but everyone is just as fucked up in my family, if not worse). The modern factory, the modern Oedipal structures, the modern silmacrum, the dead god and the corpse of media, all tell me how it's my fault. The patriarchy tells me how I should stop being "delusional" and "entitled" and respect his sacrifice. Even if I knew no better, I can't. I hate my family.