I've been so angry with my mum over recent stuff while also having extreme guilt and death anxiety about her passing one day. I'm realising she's wasted her life with a man who doesn't love her and treats her horribly. I wish she would meet someone she genuinely loves. I wish she could have the life she wants. Even if it means she wouldn't have me, I wish he met someone else who genuinely loved her and supported her passion. I want so badly to give her everything she wants but I'm so terrified that I won't and she'll spend her whole life in regret. I cannot imagine a world without my mum and it makes me feel so horrible that she feels so lost and sad because of my father. She can't escape him because my siblings still depend on her and she doesn't get paid enough. I wish she could win the lottery so she never had to worry again. She could leave my father and finally pursue her dreams.