It's three in the morning. I can't help but feel disgusted at myself for staying up so late, consuming so much media it would make anyone in their right mind go nuts, but I'm addicted. Everytime the screen turns off, my mind turns on. It started with intense nostalgia, living in a place that I loved. I wanted to go back. I miss it, but it was better that we moved. But then it turned into someone that kind of scarred me. I don't really understand trauma, but everytime it comes up, I can't help but tear up. Even if it's in the middle of a conversation that has nothing to do with it. It doesn't come up too frequently, but everytime I think of what happened, I'm back in my old apartment feeling totally helpless. I'm back in the car, trying to stop sobbing my eyes out so I don't escalate his feelings. He's gone, but I can still feel the tension his anger brought. I'm so terrified of people getting angry now. I try to joke, so maybe they're happier. So maybe they don't lash out. Stay safe<3