hi. i dont know where else to go. i dont really have any friends in real life, at least not any that im close enough to text out of the blue. i tried to stop posting on social media earlier this year because i was scared of strangers following me. i joined a discord server of online friends and when i did they said i could "vent anywhere i want." but i think they were just saying that to be nice in the moment. one of them just told me im a negative person who doesnt like anything, and that i insult them all the time. i dont mean to do this. ive never meant to insult any of them. i thought i was doing okay. im constantly afraid of talking to people because of guilt, that they'll find out im actually a terrible person. but apparently i'm actually miserable and it shows. i thought they didnt care about the things i know they dont like. i cant get new friends i already lost one friend group when i was 14 and it hurt so so so bad. and now im an adult and im still maladjusted FUCK!!!!