im scared. like rlly scared. one of my friends has attempted so many fucking times i fucking want to fucking die but i cant. they came out to me but i think they only did it cus their mother fucking told our fucking gym coach. idek if they would ve told me. i fucking want to kms so fucking bad. it hurts so fucking bad. but i dont have a fucking valid reason. like its like im not lgbtq, im not stupid, im not directly bullied, i go to a private school, i have 'friends', i dont have too many shit teachers, i go to gymnastics, im not too shit at it. but idk anymore. i told myself that i couldnt until they did but idk if i can wait anylonger. we even have a number system and our numbers out both shit. how do i tell them that i have been downplaying my numbers to make them not have a panic attack? how do i tell them that they need to read the letter i wrote for them? how do i tell them that imma go kms? how?