I hate why i like girls. maybe if i was in different circumstances it would be different but like im in a christian household, and i love everyone ive met through the faith, but they dont KNOW me. and i love all of them but everyone can be so hateful. and all i want to do is lie with a girl and love a girl and enjoy her presence, but i cant. im yearning for this love, real love, but idk if i can ever have that. and my family has never outright talked about homosexuality but they havent said anything good either. i just want to leave, but i feel guilt for leaving, and i want to have my own career and family, and as soon as i go to college i want to just be myself, but i feel guilt of just not talking to my parents. i know my friends at youth group arent supportive, but my school friends are. and my parents keep me sooo shelter like i cant even watch TV-MA without them. i started sterling point and all i want is a friend group like that, and a summer like that, but i cant have that.