For reference im 19F. I just never thought as a kid that I would be writing this post about my parents. I really thought the world of them , especially my mom. Growing up my mom was my number one, always my shoulder to lean on. she came from a very abusive household herself and has always been volative, destructive, and had a lot of trouble controlling her anger. despite all the arguments (with both me and my dad) and crying and slaps i can remember growing up, above it all she was so kind so loving and always there for me. I know it doesnt make any sense put like that but it was like these instances were only once in a whiiiile and it never left a lasting mark on me growing up, somehow. just the occasional thought that my mom was intense. my childhood was very happy. BUT in my teens, this dynamic took a much larger toll on me. for the large majority of my teens my dad being emotionally absent hurt a lot more - busy man, high authority job, not emotionally vulnerable so when i was bu