I can't help but to feel helpless, pitiful, and overall angry with myself. I feel useless, and have no desire to continue but I always end up doing the same shit-working, socializing, doing my "normal" things. Like, I was not just fantasizing of running away, disappearing, or even worse, killing myself. It's an emotional burnout, I am not even sure if my feelings were valid, am I dramatic? I can't contain bullshits in my life anymore. I am really tired and I want to give up. It's like wanting to die, but I can't die because I'm too poor to run away from life. Someone is depending on me. At the same time, it feels like I am not even wanted. Like I don't belong in my family. I feel invisible which I have already accepted. I am just an accessory. I'm also afraid that I am spiralling into something worse, I can't do anything to make myself better. It's always the same phase, some days I'm fine--then here comes the rock bottom,