i really miss being an edgelord. by edgelord, i mean someone who enjoys gritty, horror-like art, and liking jokes that may be smwt insensitive. not 1 of those asshats who go out of their way to harass people. I guess i still could be one, but w/ the way sns is going, and due 2 some parasocial people who have been stalking me since i was 13 i doubt it. i miss drawing gore. i miss being able to enjoy whatever i want. i miss saying unhinged things. the actual kicker is the people stalking me. i did some stupid stuff when i was 13 that ended up w/ me getting somewhat 'infamous' within a small community, with many hating me, cus i was a stereotypical reddit edgelord at the time. i refrain from drawing the things i want to because i don't want them to think im regressing and judge me for that. i wish i could be free from them, but somehow they keep finding me. they dont do anything, but its so uncomfortable. im tired of keeping things entirely clean. i hate being polite at all times.