I thought you were a light in thr dark, something to rise me up and love me after the terrible thing I'd finally braved through. But now you're just a ghost, leaving me to fester in my own silence. A silence that creeps so deep onto my very core I find myself abandoning the things I enjoy, because they remind me of you. Im taking extra shifts, extra hours, doing anything to fill the void. Ensuring exhausting will claim me after every shift so I don't have a moment to think. I fester in the exhaustion and silence at night, the chirping cricket only reminding me of how empty it all is. I miss your voice in my ears, your encouraging words. Why are you doing this to me? You said I saved you? I thought you wanted me? Wanted this? You said meeting you saved you. Now who's going to save me? I know I shouldn't hope to be saved, but god fucking dammit I feel so alone. Like an idiotic fucking fool. I struggle to see a future, to want to live long.