I usually interpreted a compliment as some sick and twisted joke they're playing on me so I didn't have to feel heartbroken all the time, but that doesn't work and i end up shedding tears anyway. I ended up thinking or horrific and dumb certain aspects of humans are and I cry over that too. I want everyone to feel safe all the time and yet that is another form of apathy. I did felt home for a few years, even though it hurt me. It's deeply pathetic and scarring how much I want everyone to hate me already so I can finally have an excuse to kill myself. I want to go to emptiness cause feeling anything about anyone is terrifying. I hate having a brain that is capable of feeling. I hate being a human, I want to be a star.