I'm 21 years old. Back in February, my ex-girlfriend ended our four-year relationship. We had our ups and downs, but we always managed to overcome them, so I never thought we'd end up as strangers. She's in everything I like songs, movies, video games, places, memories and I can't get her out of my head. I've tried everything I could to feel better, yet here I am, six months later, still attached to a ghost while she's out there living her life, and I don't even know what she's doing anymore. I tried reaching out so many times, and I think it only made her hate me. I'm currently battling depression and, at times, episodes of dissociation. I'm also struggling with alcoholism, and I'm not proud of it. I know I keep telling myself everything would be better if she were here, but that's not possible. I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like the world stopped being beautiful the day she left.