I’m in love with someone for the first time and I’m genuinely so scared of fucking it up because of my past relationship and mistakes with people, like I 2 toxic ex friends, one was like a weird platonic thing going on, the other fully abusive, then after them I had 1 healthy friendship but they wanted to date, I didn’t but we were obsessed with each other that it got unhealthy, had two relapses after that person. One was where I was the “other women”, me and then flirted and stuff, I think they jerked off in a hotel bathroom when we were flirting even tho they had a boyfriend, and then the other was a actual fwb, I told them I wondered what it would be like if we both dated, I was his first ever online anything, I tried encouraging him to be more social online and post more and we were honestly very similar, he said he didn’t want a online relationship or wasn’t ready but then met someone a few weeks after and fucking dated them like bro what, your my first fwb and then that happens??