I hate myself to succumb to this endless loop of self sabotage and doom scrolling...i have this huge competition like tmmr but i just cant get up and prepare for it....i am exhausted by all the stress i took up..its really messing my mind and i am going blank cause of it and wasting the remainder of the time i have...i feel like a huge disappointment for everyone...and i feel unworthy to exist....i am tired of trying and trying but always losing....and i feel like i am just being lazy or making up excuses...it feels like i am suffocating under this unseen pressure....which no one can see...and its frustrating when i cant figure out if we what i am going thru is valid or my fault...i wish someone could for once listen to me and help me
health2 felt this