I think about harming myself alot but never can get far enough into anything due to past trama for most forms of self harm. Starving makes me too shaky, cutting burns too badly.. I can't choke or kill myself (my dad died from suicide by suffocation) so thats out. But i hate myself so much. I hate who I am, where I live, my job, my life. Litterally the only thing I like about me is my friends. I hate my body. I hate my face. I hate my teeth. I hate my stomach. I just wish I was anywhere else as anyone else. I am yelled at all the time for the smallest things to a point some days I just hide in a small nook of my closet with granola bars and a water bottle..
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