it sucks that I have to admit it to myself but its the truth. ive been left out and unwanted by the people around me in my life, especially revolving school. I did have "friends" but they were the type of friends that told me they were "having a private conversation" everyday so that they could just not be around me or just talk badly about me. that started in 2nd grade but me being left out goes WAY back from before I was even in kindergarten. in 1st grade, my uncle joked to me about him moving away while walking me to my school. obviously, I got sad and scared about him saying that, but I thought it was really funny and decided to do that same joke on my friend. when I told them they were like "YES FINALLY" instead of actually getting sad or upset about me leaving. in preschool-4th grade, I was often never included in any games with my other cousins. I always brushed it off because they were all boys and obviously didn't wanna play with a girl. one time I was even ditched by them.