Rant #14206

Unfortunately no matter how much I try to force myself into believing I'm helping and doing something to give them a reason to live, I know it will never take away their wish. They don't even love me anymore. I don't know what's worse, that I can't help them want to live or the fact that they've probably been pretending to like me to find a reason to live. I love them too. But it seemed like they were dragging me on and I didn't want that. I'm a selfish dickhead.